The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize