accomplished twins. life is a go
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
