I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
