My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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