you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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