Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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