STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
