Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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