please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
