:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
