living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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