Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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