Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
