how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
