Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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