just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
