Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
