Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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