Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
