Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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