the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
