Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
