Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
