Small penises have feelings too.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
