If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
