the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize