You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
