Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
