I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize