You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
