There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is Oprah even human
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
