Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
