We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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