Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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