This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
