walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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