I hate your face
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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