Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
