Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
