I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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