high people should be assigned attendants
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize