I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
