Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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