she was so not down for the gang bang
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
