Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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