I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
