Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
