i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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