I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize