That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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