and you said cock pushups were impossible
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
