great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
