I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize