wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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