If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
