why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
