Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
