my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
