Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
