There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
