Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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