I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
