She is in my trunk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
