I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
