margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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