and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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