I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
