She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
