STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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