Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
