I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
