hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
